Inauguration

After the election, I went into activism overdrive. I signed up for lists of daily actions like making phone calls to government officials.

It wasn't as easy as it sounds. I do not have private space in which to work during the day and I have to be careful to be non-political in the school environment where I work.

Worse though, I stopped sleeping well, was depressed and fearful not only of what was happening but of everyone around me. (The election has not been the only shock in my life. Losing a dear friend to breast cancer shortly before as well as some other new and personal challenges in my life have made this school year extremely difficult.)



So I took a step back from the activism, tried to just get a handle on my health and myself again.

I spoke about a week ago to my close friend and meditation teacher who talked me through this... through the time it takes to process all of this shock and how even her meditation group could not actually sit for a good month, but needed to continually talk through all of this pain and fear.

I expressed my fear of not wanting to turn away from what was happening. We can't afford to be complacent, but I can't destroy my body by being angry and afraid all of the time. I have to teach, I parent and stay healthy! How am I supposed to help change the world too pro bono?

She taught me a practice of taking in the horror, and sitting with it so it doesn't destroy me. She surprised me by saying that she will be watching the election. We talked through how to do this and it is similar enough to other practices I've learned that I'm trying it, getting to know it.

Shortly after I found myself able to start making phone calls again, and yet in those same days to be able to smile and laugh again.

I am working to find within myself a place of peace that allows the strength to come out without being disturbed.

Last night we went to the "We Stand United" rally in NYC. I'm glad we went. I felt part of something powerful of loving. I also couldn't sleep last night. There is a lot of work ahead. (Ignore the hateful comments written below the video if you watch there.) I don't know what I can or can't do. But I'm going to sit with all of that this morning, strengthen myself and move forward with all of these other people.

I'm committing to the 100 days of resistance. If I miss a phone call one day, I'll make two the next.