Tricky Blogging

I've really wanted to document my experiences moving to a new place on here, but now I've entered into a tricky zone... because I've started to meet people.

I want to give my first impressions of the places, the people who may become my friends or not etc. But that could be loshon hara. (Saying things about other people in ways that could ultimately be detrimental. It's a Jewish legal term.)

So I can't really tell you much about my new principal, my co-teacher, the people in my new shul. I have to talk around individuals and just tell about generalities. I have to avoid loshon hara because 1. it's the right thing to do and 2. I don't want to get myself into trouble later. And even good things you say about someone can be loshon hara.

I will say that in NJ, people act much more confident and sort of in-your-face-ish here, even when being friendly. We needed to borrow a screwdriver on Friday for our brand new air conditioner (Thank heavens for that!!!!!), and so I went knocking on doors. When I finally found someone who had one, she said, "Now I really need it back. That's my screwdriver."

"I know," I said. "Thank you. I'll have it back within the hour. And we live in apartment ___."

"I'm not going to come get it," she said.

"I know," I said. "I'll have it back within the hour. I just wanted to tell you where we live."

I said it as calmly and friendlylike as I could, smiling all the while. By the time I returned it to her she seemed to feel bad about speaking in a way that I would be willing to classify as rude. She was nice then, asking when we'd moved in etc. I don't mind doing that... being really friendly in a way that makes other people realize they weren't... and then having them feel bad about it. We've all be rude sometime or another and the best way to stop someone is to be nice. It makes you look really good too. :)

Anyway... I want to say more about how people are here, but as I said, it's better I document some of those things in my private journal instead. Even the nice things.

Just a few lines about the new shul.

I do think it's funny what happened this morning. We're in a nice new little shul which I think I"ll really like. It is arranged so that all of the chairs on either side of the room face the middle towards the bimah. The men are on one side of the bimah, then there is a mechitzah and the women are on the other side of the bimah, facing the opposite direction.

U. and I came in earlier than is usual for us and in fact it turned out I was the only woman there yet. So with this seating arrangement, if you think about it carefully, all of the men were facing me as I walked in. Yes, there was a mechitzah there. A tasteful sheet almost shoulder high. But either way, I could see all the men's faces, and they could all see mine. I suspect we just have to make a point of not looking. And men and women certainly weren't talking over the mechitzah, so I don't have any objections to how it was set up. Just a funny experience.

Lots of very welcoming people at the shul. Lots. But I know it will take time to know who my FRIENDS are. I felt a little out of place during most of lunch which made me extremely homesick. But there is one couple that really appeals to me and who I look forward to getting to know. I hope they will be our friends.

The only thing I'll say about them... again, to avoid loshon hara... is simply how interesting that of everyone at the table, the people I was most attracted to were the only other people not from the NJ/NY area.

Hmmm.