Infant In Arms

As I write this, my goofy little jet-lagged girl is falling asleep in her pouch that I'm wearing. She's not so into falling asleep without me right there next to here recently. Who can blame her?

We (ND and me, not U.) came home yesterday from our first plane trip together. Normally, I'm abnormal in that I actually enjoy flying, and I blow off the complaints people make about the process.

No longer.

We had two flights to get to Portland last week, and two flights to return yesterday. In both directions we had to rebook when weather prevented us from making connections. In the flight to Portland, this meant that we arrived at the airport at 11 AM, expecting to be in the air towards Cincinatti before 2:00. Instead, we didn't even board a plane until 4:30, and it was bound for Houston. We got to my parents' house around 1:30 AM. Coming back to NJ, a storm prevented us from landing in Cincinatti for a long time (and almost made me throw up from turbulence), and caused us to miss our flight out to Newark. We ended up going home via LaGuardia.

Maybe I was just upset from having to literally run with my baby through one of the most poorly organized airports I've ever visited, or maybe it's because the airport employee who I went to for help didn't tell me she was busy and that I should speak to someone else, but just stood there ripping the little shreds of paper of her printout until I frantically asked if she was going to help me or if I should go to someone else because I felt faint from dehydration and nausea, but I was not at my best on that last flight out.

Please read this letter I've sent to the airline in question:

It would be very helpful if you could make flight attendants more aware of how they can help customers traveling with small children.

On a recent _______ flight I took my 4-month old daughter to the bathroom in order to change her diaper. The two bathrooms each had an icon showing a changing table, but when I entered the vacant bathroom, I could not locate the table. When I asked a flight attendant for help, she said they only had changing tables on international flights. (I knew this was not true as I had already successfully found tables on three previous domestic flights.) She then instructed me to change my baby on the floor in the back of the plane. As I was doing so, my daughter was nearly seriously injured when a flight attendant came within a few inches of stepping on her head and shortly afterwards dropped several water bottles on the floor right next to us. If my daughter had been injured in anyway I assure you I would have pursued a law suit and most certainly would never have flown with Delta again.

On my way back to my seat, I glanced into the now-vacant second bathroom and discovered that it did, in fact, contain a changing table. Had the bathrooms been labeled correctly (with an icon showing a table only on the bathroom that actually had one), and had the flight attendant been informed, all of this could have been easily avoided.

Thank you,

Of course, I try to be a nice person (TOO nice sometimes) and try to be positive when I can. It is often more effective. So I also sent the following:

I recently traveled cross-country with infant in arms for the first time. I want to thank your flight attendants for:

• Repeatedly asking if there was any way they could help me.
• Upon request, providing me with water to drink before the flight even departed.
• Showing me how to hold my baby safely during departure and landing.
• Helping me to access the changing table in the bathroom.

On three of the four flights I took on this trip, I received a great deal of support. Even the smallest gestures of understanding made all the difference between a good flight and a bad one.

Thank you,

But honestly, what makes the flight is not the flight attendant, but THE OTHER PASSENGERS.

I think what ticked me off the most about being wedged between two completely unhelpful people during the last flight was that one of them was reading a book about spiritual principles, and yet never once asked if she could help me.

Here are some suggestions of what you can do if you sit near someone travelling with a child:

Offer to help them get stuff in and out of their bags or to help them store luggage

Volunteer your tray as a place to store drinks or kid paraphernilia.

If they get up to use the bathroom and snacks come through the cabin, for crying out loud, take one for them and offer it when they return, even if they don't want it. (Come on, people. Duh!)

Finally, just offer to help. Offer often. If they don't want it, they'll tell you.

With respect to any and all who have ever NOT helped, here was a time when I didn't know that I should do these things. I'm as guilty as anyone for being unehlpful, but now I hope I've reformed and that both you and I can make a difference in another person's day.

That's my activism for the evening.