Staying Up

Had an awesome Shavuot... the first since ND has been born in which I was willing and able to stay up for all-night learning. It was wonderful. Two talks by members of our shul and two by Rabbi Boteach who lives in Englewood and has been pitching in since we've been "between rabbis." His wife and I were the two women who made it through early shacharit the next day and I felt proud and enlightened arriving home at 7 AM.

One of the things I don't like at my shul is that I often don't feel much interest in people pushing themselves to improve themselves halakhically and spiritually. During this night it was nice to be among some who were making efforts. Interestingly, on the flip side, I felt no anxiety about needing to live up to anyone else's expectations, including my own worry about how I could be different religiously.

Now I have a new challenge... Sunday night is the finale of Lost!. I want to stay up for that too, but don't want to be exhausted the next day. If I choose not to do it, and just watch on Hulu later, will that then be a statement of prioritizing Torah over TV? I hope so, because I'll be bummed if I don't get to see that ending soon! Gotta have a good reason to make it feel better than not just wanting to get enough sleep.