A great beginning to the year

We've just completed our first year with a new rabbi. I was somewhat ambivalent about him when he first arrived. I would like to be part of a shul that is not just modern Orthodox but actively progressive in social activism, feminism, environmentalism etc., but his statements at his initial interviews included a lot about wanting our shul to be similar to others and not stand out as too different.

However, this year a few of us asked that he be more inclusive of women in various aspects of the chagim. He didn't want to "make a statement" but did agree to some gestures that have made a difference. A rabbi in his shoes is in a tricky position of wanting to make shul welcoming to many, but without irking others. He walked that line fairly safely, but the amount of difference for those of us to whom this matters, I think will help him reach his goals of making our shul a place that is welcoming and inspiring to as many as possible.

Last night I wrote him the following letter which he agreed that I could post here:

Dear Rabbi Block,

You came to our community eager to make change. Many times you’ve talked about helping our shul to increase its kavannah through coming to shul more.

Within our community there is a wellspring of kavannah and passion towards Judaism and mitzvoth that often goes untapped because it resides on side of the mechitza that often is ignored. This year, by encouraging the purchase of lulavim and etrogim, and in participating in hoshanas for women as well as men, you helped unleash a few more members’ expression of our faith in Hashem and commitment to Jewish practice. Likewise, by simply opening the door to the women’s Simchat Torah leining and smiling at us, you showed support for our eagerness to interact actively with the Torah (an action that is sometimes ironically viewed as illicit rather than praiseworthy).

I do not come to shul terribly frequently. I mentioned to you once before that this is due to anxiety around people. That is true. Kiddush is a time when I often feel awkward and uncomfortable, and sometimes I need to opt out because my week has been filled already with high intensity human interaction. On the weeks when I stay home, I feel I use the time well. I daven, I read the parsha and often do some other Torah study on my own, and I meditate – a tool that helps me connect with Shabbat very intimately. I still need that time to refresh myself. However, that is not the entire reason that I do not come.

Many years ago I was often one of very few women who came to shul early or at the less popular times. After years of feeling like an oddball and somewhat unwelcome if walking home with throngs of men, I gave up. I have felt less and less as though shul is a place where I can achieve anything spiritually. In the wake of that I have felt greater passion for Judaism through the outlet of organizations such as Hazon, but far less through prayer and the shul community.

By making the efforts you have over the past weeks, you are now giving me a chance to potentially feel more welcome and valued for attending shul. I am reconsidering my relationship to prayer and feeling the importance of modeling that both for Naomi and for my peers. The gestures you made these weeks which I mention above may have seemed either simple or risky, but they are making a difference in me and in others towards your goals for creating a community that embraces Torah.

I hope that over the coming years we’ll be able to work together to achieve the goals of having more Torah study, of greater commitment to halakhah, and of having all members of the shul –both men and women - feel integral to the community’s relationship with G-d.

Thank you