Called In Sad Today

I posted back in March that a friend of mine, Rabbi Michael Tayvah, had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  He died yesterday at 3:45 PM.

I found this out about 2 hours before I needed to return to school for back-to-school night. I didn't cry much. I did the crying last week on Wednesday when I first learned he had gone into hospice. Since then I've just been waiting.

I went to the school. I gave my brief presentations. (I'm on support staff this year so there wasn't too much I needed to say.)

I told the relevant people that I wouldn't be coming in today.

As of this morning I learned that the funeral is not until tomorrow and it's over a 6 hour drive away. I can't  do that. Shiva that night is in Princeton and then moves Thursday to Great Neck. So I won't actually attend anything until Thursday night.

I've gone to work when I should have been home recuperating emotionally far too many times... when my grandfather died, the day after being attacked by a dog, just to name the biggest ones that come to mind. I need today to process.

I haven't eaten anything yet and will spend some time doing restorative yoga. Then I'll eat mindfully. Then I'll write. There are plenty of other things for me to do while I am at home, but I'm going to try to stay focused on this instead as a tool for my healing and as a gift for Michael's neshama and a tribute to living life mindfully while I can.