Belugas

So today has been one of those days when nothing worked out just the way I wanted at first -- and boy was I stressed -- but then it all started to go okay. Without giving the whole saga, the movers are through at last, and I was finally able to sign a lease on my apartment (which has been lost in the mail for over a week!) and then to finally start forwarding my new address to people.

In order to celebrate all of that, and to take a much needed break, and to say some goodbyes that I needed to say, I headed over to Stanley Park. I had this sudden very strong desire to visit the aquarium. This is probably mainly because I've been really sad about the recent and sudden death of Tuvaq, the young beluga at the aquarium. I went to the beluga show where I felt very morose. And they didn't mention Tuvaq at all during the part when I was there. (I have seen the beluga show 3 times already and just wanted to see them, not their performance, so I wandered off. I don't know what happened after I left.)

The whole experience of the aquarium was pretty melancholy overall, though not unwelcome. I do well with that feeling. I'm sad to leave. But also I was disturbed at how crowded it was. People kept tapping on the glass, trying to get different animals to react. Like it was really important that the creatures responded to them personally or put on a show. I found myself looking really deep into the water and imagining the peace of being in such a quiet place. It bothered me that people were so willing to interrupt it with their tapping fingers. I guess I take a little bit of pride in my ability to just watch something to appreciate it -- whether it be an animal or a child. Sometimes watching from a distance and letting that being just "be" in front of you is the best way for you to love it.

Several people have offered to go to Stanley park with me, but I think it was important that I do that one on my own.

On a final note, I realize this entry sounds like I'm really down. I'm actually not. Just feeling kind of quiet and focused right now.