Potty Training

There's this 3-day potty training method some friends of mine tried and liked. The idea is that you quit diapers and pull-ups cold turkey and help your child get used to not wetting the new underwear. It's intense, requires stopping everything else you're doing for 3 days and is supposed to be full-proof.

Yesterday began the first 3-day block I will have for awhile, so we tried it.

There were ways in which it was fun at first. You've seen what I've written previously about trying to live in the moment and get more out of everyday experiences without having to run around for fun, or about focusing on activities more directly with ND...

Well, we spent a good part of the morning in the yard. Together we hand washed with a washboard a bunch of special delicate clothes that had been piling up. That was really good for her, and fun. We swept the deck which has been very dirty from some work we had done recently. We fed the birds. We drew with chalk and we mowed the lawn. (We have a manual mower that is quiet and safe enough to use when she's around, and she pushes her own toy mower.) We also, sadly, found a dead bluejay in the yard. I had to explain about death. ND kept asking what it's doing, and I explained that the way this works is that it will not ever do anything again. She thought I called it a Dad bird.

Throughout, whenever she had an accident I explained about trying to go potty first to keep it dry. But as the day wore on, both inside the house and out, I learned that she's just not able to tell me when she's about to need to use the toilet. And I could see the pressure was starting to get to her.

I felt so odd about the experience... frustrated mainly, I think, for pushing her in the first place than for the fact that it wasn't working. I thought the things the article had said had made sense, but I prefer parenting from instinct and from my heart than from what I read. Reading puts info. in my head which is where I second-guess myself and stop believing in what I usually return to as "what's right."

The article I read tells you to throw out all the diapers so you can't "give up" and use them as a crutch. But I didn't do that. I was planning to donate them, so I had just put them in U's car trunk. But while ND was sleeping I found one that had been left behind. When she got up from her nap I changed her into it and I decided to pretend the day never happened. I'm not even going to talk about it with her unless she brings it up.

I'm not sure what approach to use now. I'd love to see if I can teach her to do this without any kind of treats. It strikes me as weird in many ways. In fact, at the end of yesterday we went for a walk to Walgreen's and I bought her a present just to cheer us up -- a flower windmill for the yard. A comfort rather than a reward. I think I'm not going to mention potty for awhile and see if she chooses to use it on her own, and just talk her through it. Ask her if she wants to try underwear some days and not give her a hard time.

My concern is that I'll be inconsistent. It will be harder when school starts again and diapers simply become more convenient again as we rush everywhere. But I also don't see a rush.

And have I mentioned we're going on an airplane next week? Glad we're not dealing with this there.