Role Models

I've always been big on role models. It wasn't intentional, but there have been so many times in my life when I modelled much of who I was after someone else.

Role models have included friends and family, sometimes rabbis that I know or other "wise" people, but usually one main person at a time.

I've learned from them about what music to listen to, how to dress, spiritual matters, religious matters, how to talk, when not to talk, how to treat children, the environment, my peers and more.

Every now and then I'll really latch on to someone to the point that I really want to be just like them. It's usually at about that point that they disappoint me by being human and/or by doing something that just doesn't fit me.

So then I feel cheated, keep my distance awhile, and then eventually respect that I am who I am, and that person is who s/he is and then all is well again.

The amazing thing since I've lived here is that I know longer feel such a need for role models. I still refer in my mind to, "What would _____________ do?" particularly about meditation or some other shaky areas in which I really do need (and don't have much) guidance right now.

But this weaning off of role models means two things to me:

One is that I have not yet met anyone who so thoroughly amazes me in some area that I want more of that I need to follow them so fully (this isn't to say that I don't learn from the many wonderful people around me).

But more importantly, I think that I'm now who I want to be.

A simple example is that I used to really look at what interesting foods people brought to work in their lunches, especially if I was around people into organics and what not. Now, every lunch, everyone looks at my lunch and asks what I made. I've simply learned over time.

Many people here have similar lives. When I mention that I grew up taking care of chickens, they're impressed. This is out of the norm. I feel very unique (and sometimes a little full of myself. I'm trying to watch that). I am THE hippie of the people that I know.

On a lighter note, I do have one weak point, which is there is one person I look forward to seeing each week that I really look up to. I appreciate that we have a certain distance between us so that I don't get too caught up in wanting to model myself after him. But also, our circumstances are just so different, I don't see myself actually trying to emulate him.

Almost as good as Captain Jean-Luc Picard, here's my current person to look up to.