Teaching Log: Parents

Back in my teacher's program, I remember we used to complain a lot about parents until the three parents who were becoming teachers stopped us one day and let us have it. They reminded us how much they love their children and that, despite the times parents might come head-to-head with teachers, it is all about trying to do what's best for their children.

The last thing I had to do last night before I went to bed was have a phone conversation with some parents about something they didn't want to hear. (I tried twice to call much earlier but they weren't home and, since I'd left a message, I didn't want them getting it late and then wondering what it was about.)

They were gracious and listened well, but I knew they were upset. I HATE making them worry. I HATE being the bearer of bad news. I HATE telling them that things aren't perfect. I have to admit... since I take too much on myself I assume that I will get blamed and that maybe I SHOULD get blamed.

In reality, I felt the phone conversation helped me reconsider how to deal with the situation. Obviously, it also informed them. So it was productive and necessary. But still, I wish I could only give good news and I hope it was clear that I'm doing what I can for their child.

Sometimes parents don't see teachers' good intentions. More than good intentions, even good acts! I've had some difficult children whose parents appreciated my work with them and with whom I worked well as a partner. So much so I was willing to come them weekly at my own choice. But I have others whose worries spill out onto me and so we aren't even having the same conversation when we talk. I've been accused of things so far off the mark it's almost funny. It's very hard for me to talk with them and be upfront. When I feel I have to protect myself, I can't problem-solve.

Maybe I need to lose some ego in this. Not that it's all my problem. It certainly isn't my fault if a parent isn't cooperative. But my duty still lies with the child. I can't allow my personal issues with a parent inhibit that.