The Chometz Is Back

We put so much work into getting rid of chometz before Pesach. (Chometz is the breads, pastas, etc. that we're not allowed to eat on Pesach.)

Now that Pesach is over, I've been going chometz crazy with cravings all over the place.

Some people say that chometz symbolizes ego. For me this year, as I've noted, it was more about taking time out to be present, not shoveling food into my mouth but rather appreciated food and everything else I have from this world... from Hashem.

Yesterday was the first day back at school. I'd been mentally compartmentalizing everything school-related. So within the first hour there I was FLOODED by the input of what I need to work on from phone calls to parents to planning to anecdotals to even thinking about next year! I really rushed through the day a lot, and wondered if I could call back any of what I did over my break.

I'm happy to say that I did retain some of that awareness. I didn't go on food hunts at all and I felt basically calm all day despite the rush. I also felt, particularly in the morning, like I was in tune with both my colleagues and my students.

I know I can't expect it to stay this good, but that's because everything we do in life is actually a cycle. I know I tend to think that I accomplish things and then they're done, but they always need revisiting, even in a different form. The biggest thing I want ot work on now is not WORRYING when the day is done. I work hard in order to reach a point weekly or daily of being able to relax and regroup. I had a hard time with that last night. I had to tell myself, "THIS is what I've been working towards."

I could go into that more, but I need to get ready for work!