Purim 2010

Having a great Purim so far. For the second year in a row I was the main organizer for the women's megillah reading here. I gave the drash tonight too... 

I spoke about the women at the beginning of the megillah who are forced to be passive as they are drawn into King Achashverosh's palace. Esther, like them, is passive until she learns of the decree to kill the Jews. She says to Mordechai that she doesn't know what she can do. "I haven't been invited to the King in 30 days." She has been well trained to do nothing, say nothing unless invited. When Mordechai says, "Who knows? Perhaps this is the reason you are in the palace," he talks her into taking an active stance and she makes a significant shift.

In megillah, King can refer either to King Achashverosh or to Hashem. So when Esther makes that choice to be active, she is metaphorically leaving the palace of King Achashverosh and actively entering that of Hashem. 

When King Achashverosh looks around at his women, he just sees pretty people. When Hashem looks, he sees individuals each created with a divine and unique purpose. It takes a righteous figure like Mordechai to help Esther see herself in the second palace. 

We can be active and make a difference in our worlds like Esther. We can also help others realize their potential like Mordechai as we make a point of seeing others as created by G-d with a unique mission and purpose. We can reflect that uniqueness back to others to help them realize their potential.

***

Leading up tonight I felt anxious and high-strung. I think that I get very anxious before a holiday about making it amount to everything it could be. ND was licking a Tootsie Pop and it occurred to me that I think of holidays as being like a Tootsie Pop with something precious (more like light in my image actually) deep inside needing to come out. If we do the holiday right, we can get to the chewy center. However, it feels like we just get a few licks before we move on to mundane lives. I often blame this on not having "the right community," by not being able to be both chassidic and "modern" simultaneously, actually. But maybe we are all really trapped in a physical world and it's more in our awareness of the moment that we can find the light. I'm not sure if that's an inherently Jewish concept or not, but it seems like it should be. Otherwise I'm always just painfully frustrated and not being able to achieve spiritual heights.

A way of looking at how to make holidays special is just to think about today. The absolute highlight of my day, Shabbat... came as I was just playing with ND today. I had had a nap and read her a story which we then made into a puppet show. Nothing distracted me because it couldn't. No computers... no phone... That's what Shabbat is on a mundane level...not doing things. But that mundane-ness is what makes special moments possible. I explained that to ND that Shabbat helps make that happen by keeping us from doing certain things. I think I should try to grab less at the holidays and float within more. At the same time, I'm really glad I've been gearing myself up for it for awhile. 

Already getting excited for Pesach next!