Eagles, CT scans and Tokyo Story

I've a lot to catch up on here, but will try to keep it short.

Last Sunday U. and I went eagle watching with the Tenafly Nature Center. We saw about 8 eagles, a red-tailed hawk, and another interesting raptor that I can't remember. We've never gone bird watching before and truthfully I'm not sure I want to actively go out again. I love being in nature, but am not the kind of naturalist that can sit still just watching for something to happen. I'm more of the kind that goes deep inside myself when I'm in the woods, or walk through the woods actively and keep moving quickly. I go as quietly as I can so as not to disturb in that way, but I don't slow down so much. I've been listening to an audio tape of Jane Goodall's autobiographical Reason For Hope while driving. She talks about how, as a child of about 4, she wanted to know how an egg got out of a chicken. To make a long story short, she hid, waiting for a chicken to come lay an egg for a good four hours until she got to see it with her own eyes. I have too much energy for that.

In any case, it was lovely to get a peek at upstate New York and to be out of the house on that last day before returning to work after my winter break. Also delightful to have U. along. If it wasn't my sort of thing, it certainly wasn't his. But we had a great time together all the same.

On Wednesday I had another follow-up CT scan. This was probably one of the most painful one I've had simply because the technician stuck me quite hard. I bled a bit on the sheet, in fact. But he was also one of the friendliest so I'm not complaining. I've been getting checked every 3 months. From now on, it will be only every 6!

I don't get all that scared before a CT scan the way people do if they really have a legitimate reason to fear recurrence, but I do certainly go back into my memories. Everyday stuff seems less important when I'm remembering the time when I was just surviving day to day. I had to drink 3 huge things of barium throughout the day leading up. In a way I was glad because it was a way to actively express to myself that getting a scan is important. You don't just show up for the appointment. It takes you back to difficult memories and I wanted some way to sort of celebrate that.

Advice... apple flavored is less horrid than berry flavored barium.

Just now we watched Tokyo Story. It was indeed very slow and during the first half I just congratulated myself for making it so far through. But we stopped it now and then to discuss the movie, and truthfully, I found the whole thing quite touching. Yes, it's slow, but that's because it is very real. It presents busy life simultaneously with the undercurrent of how life feels for people who are not busy.

When I went to live in Vancouver, before I could get government permission to have a teaching job again, I decided to volunteer to work with elderly people. To help me prepare, a good friend of mine remarked that elderly are much like children. I felt that with Tokyo Story in the following way. There is a scene in which the two grandparents are sightseeing in Tokyo. They are at the top of a tall building and ask to see where each of their children's houses are. I suspect that a younger adult tourist would want to know business landmarks and the like. But if a child were up there, I'm sure s/he would just want to know where s/he lived. The fast-paced adults in this film HAVE to live the fast pace they do in order to sustain life for themselves as well as their children and parents. But that, by necessity, puts them out of sync with a pace of life that is truly in awe of the world around us.

Again, I imagine most people who would be unable to sit through this whole movie, but (even as I was waching the clock) I was quite moved during it, continue to feel moved by it now, and suspect I will think about it often in days to come.

May we all live to experience old age.