Time Off and Sleep Issues

I have the week off for Sukkot. I think that's just great. Of course, that didn't stop me from signing up for a workshop for school. It's earlier in the morning than I've gotten up for work in quite a while and I'm wondering now how much I wanted to go and how much I was trying to impress by going to this. It's just going to be me and my boss today. All the other teachers had the sense to enjoy their vacation, I guess.

Meanwhile I didn't sleep very well at all. Most of that is probably because I slept too much yesterday during the holiday. So I suppose I can't complain. But there are other factors as well including pregnancy insomnia, middle-of-the-night anxiety and more. Naturally it makes me worry about the sleepless nights ahead that people don't tire of warning me about. (What good is a warning if there is nothing you can do about it?) So soon when I can't sleep I won't be able to lie in bed and just try, I'll have to get up and change diapers and stuff. And then I'll have to go to work.

As always this frightens and depresses me. Even with part-time work I feel like so much is going to be expected from there when I just want to focus on motherhood. Oh, the resentment!

This will be my last workshop for a long time. Last volunteering to do something too, I suspect. That's the boundary I'm setting.

And today I may have to do a lot of school stuff... need to plan for next week still. But today is the ONLY day I'll do it.