Teaching Log (I'm not going to # it anymore): Courage To Teach

I'm reading The Courage To Teach by Parker Palmer. If you go to that link, you'll find a site for their center that helps you reconnect "who you are with what you do."

That's basically what the book is about although it uses some pretty academic language to get there. (I enjoy reading such sophisticated sounding language.)

The first I really heard of The Courage To Teach was from a teaching neighbor of mine when I worked in Portland just before my cancer diagnosis. He was going through a crisis point in his life both about his teaching about some inner struggles... primarily that his father was dying at the time. He had read the book and was attending Courage To Teach workshops which apparently were an enormous support to his spirit through all of this.

As I read the book I find myself as the reader (and that he as a writer) seem continually need to justify and explain why a teacher's "inner landscape" would be relevant to their work. But there is evidence that it does make a difference.

One student I heard about said she could not describe her good teachers because they differed so greatly, one from another. But she could describe her bad teachers because they were all the same: "Their words float somewhere in front of their faces, like the balloon speech in cartoons."

He goes on to talk about connectedness and now it is not narcissistic, but necessary for teachers to be connected with who they are personally.

It occurs to me how hard it is for people to accept spiritually: in this form, in the form of meditation, even prayer etc.

There is no problem accepting some of the other unnecessary diversions from our work in the world, like humor, entertainment, fancy material goods etc. But to look inside oneself and tap into the essence that is there, or to look outwards for G-d, those things are somehow considered silly.

I'm thinking a little of my own work environment. Working in a yeshiva means that I work with a lot of people for whom living Torah lives and teaching are part of their spirituality. But to take the time and look inward in such personal ways is probably much too scary for many. I'm judging this simply on the fact that there are few with whom I think I could discuss a book like this, but also because of how they relate to children. There are some good teachers who still could be better if only they didn't hold children at arm's length. There are others who know their students well, and not in order to be the expert on their lives, but in order to reach for their spirits.

I'm also thinking about how "self-reflective" I've always been, and how often this was really just about ego -- narcissism again. There have been times in my life when I really really wanted or even needed to be the center of attention in my life to be happy. There are times when I shared too much information about my dreams, my inner landscape etc. This blog is a perfect example.

But every trait has two sides. Regardless of whether or not I tend to be self-centered, I need to center myself to be the best teacher that I can be.

I did a search for blogs which also mention Courage To Teach. I'd like to find more teaching community online.