1st Day Back

Well, I did it. First day back at work and it wasn't as bad as I thought. (I wore a brand new brown nursing dress that you see in the picture above, by the way, which was taken just a few moments before I started writing this posting.)

It helps tremendously that emarcy (from previous posts, including those involving ND's birth) is here and babysat today. It also helps that I came back on a Thursday.

I know that I've been planning a long time for today, and now I'm past that hurdle. So now I have to cope too with doing it regularly. It's like how the first day of school is always planned really well, but by the 3rd week, it's less precise because it's not the day you've been waiting for all summer.

In any case, I cried for the first mile or so in the car on the way there and once after I walked in the door of the school, but other than that the day was just too busy to think about anything but my work. I pumped milk twice and thought about her then.

But the most important thing was coming back home and finding ND still here and that I'm still her mom, even with my previous life back too. I think I was afraid that would vanish somehow. It hasn't.