Teaching Log #4: Eagle

On our last day in Portland last week, I ran out alone on an errand to so ship a wonderful painting to myself of some sheep. (It's painted by my mom and ND loved it when she saw it.) Before heading back to my parents' house, I stopped off at Wild Oats. I wanted to see if they had any beautiful handmade mugs with animal pictures on them. My idea was to find something enormous for my tea that would inspire me, especially on difficult mornings when I needed an extra push to have confidence in myself.

Sure enough they had some mugs. I had just picked up the first one when my mom called and told me ND was beside herself and needed me to come home. I was about to put the mug back. After all, I hadn't had time to sort out whether the right sort of totem for me would be a whale, a wolf or what. But I looked again at the one I was holding. It was an eagle.

Eagles are beautiful creatures. Graceful, gorgeous and so determined. They're almost a little scary. I've always gone for gentle animals in the past, but lately I've discovered the importance or really believing in myself, defining clear goals, and going for them. That's what I think of eagles doing. They are impressive without begging attention for themselves. Then they see their prey and they glide down. Silently and precisely.

I decided ND could wait 30 more seconds (there was no line) and I got the mug.

So tomorrow is the first day back. I'm not fearful this year the way I sometimes have been. I know I'll be pumping with adrenaline by this time tomorrow and for the rest of the week and will have to work very hard,

but I know what I'm doing.

Already there have been three emails today from school that have annoyed, upset or stressed me out. But I'm not going to let them bother me.

I'm an eagle.