Game Changer

Well now, this is an interesting one…

I'm home sick today with a nasty cold. Runny nose, coughing deep in the bronchial tubes. The works.

As always I feel a little frustrated, pitiful, a little scared even maybe guilty. Maybe.

Check this out… this is my SECOND sick day I've taken since the start of the school year.

That's huge.

In the past I often was lucky to keep it to an average of one day per month.

This is due to a combination of things, I'm sure.

For one, I don't work Fridays, which means that sometimes when I'm not feeling well I just make it to Friday and then go slow.

Secondly, I don't have the same stress levels now that I'm not a classroom teacher.

Thirdly, I've been differentiating more between all-out-sick (like today) and just my fatigue spells that I still get quite regularly and I think probably will get for the rest of my life.

Fourth, because my job is not that of a classroom teacher, I can get through the a fatigue day whereas the thought of facing a classroom on a day like that was daunting.

Fifth, maybe I'm just taking better care of myself. Not that I wasn't before, but it's a constant focus. Maybe I'm growing in my ability to stay well.

I still laid in bed on Shabbat worrying about whether I had cancer again. I rehashed all the frightening memories that go with having my lung space compromised the way it is right now and was then before my diagnosis 11 years ago. Overall I know I just have a cold, that this is a normal cold that all people are susceptible to, and that I'll be back to normal when my body's had the time to rest…

...as it will today. Just as soon as I thank G-d and then get back into bed.