Why A Midwife?

Back in Due Date Today I mentioned I was feeling sick. Well, it's gotten much worse. I have done almost nothing today but nurse it, sleep, and feel sorry for myself. Runny nose, deep deep painful chest cough. I called my doctor who put me on Amoxicillin. She's not convinced I have a bacterial infection but agrees that I don't want to take any chances right now of not treating something that I can. I DO NOT want this happening when I go into labor.

Meanwhile, I've had several conversations with friends and others who ask if and when I'll induce labor. But my midwife and I had a long conversation yesterday about that. "Due date" does not mean "deadline." Most pregnancies can safely go all the way to 43 weeks. So doctors in their great wisdom usually prevent them from continuing at 42 weeks even though they are often still safe. And since a baby can be "at term" as early as 38 weeks, the "due date" is simply based on a day halfway between the 38 and the 42... leaving it at 40 weeks. So there's no reason to rush things. Besides that, one of the reasons I'm with a midwife is in order to have a "natural" birth. By that I do not automatically mean wearing hippie clothes and refusing all comfort (medical) and playing new age music (although I am going to do the music), but it means doing things as true to what our bodies were made to, with as few interventions as possible. We'll be monitoring with ultrasound starting next week to see if it's safe to just continue the pregnancy until labor starts naturally.

But this brings me to a topic I've wanted to address for some time:

Why I chose a midwife and not a doctor.

1. Guidance

One doctor I met and liked would have worked for me. (I switched because I didn't want to be left in the hands of anyone else at the practice, and because I wanted a midwife if I could find one.) But I remember being oddly nervous when she said I could have any kind of birth I wanted. I really appreciated that, but having never given birth before, I didn't know what my options were. I wanted someone who would hear my questions and preferences, but who could make decisions for me that were consistent with natural child birth.

2. An open ear

I wanted someone who would listen to me and not just to the machines monitoring my body. Especially at the beginning of my pregnancy I felt terribly abandoned by the medical world. "Yay, you're pregnant. Congratulations. Come back next month." There was nothing in place to address the major life change of NOW and to guide me towards how to welcome it into my life. My current midwife will talk to me for as long as I want and lets me call her anytime I need. And it's not just that she's physically there. She sits. She looks me in the eye. She LISTENS.

3. Pregnancy is not a pathology

I learned quickly that in the medical world, unless there was a problem, doctors had nothing to teach me about what was happening in me. They almost seemed surprised that I would ask questions. Also, I'm so upset when I hear the sort of common outlook on pregnancy of constantly asking how bad it is. People in this part of the world seem to be much more willing to complain about discomfort and take any measures to make them end than to experience and work through them as part of a blessing. That goes for everything from back aches to actual labor. I know that some of my friends think I'm crazy for wanting to go natural and back it up by saying that I have no idea how painful it will be. I don't deny that it will be more painful than I imagine, but I also believe in my body's and spirit's ability to work through it.

4. It's MY birth experience

I don't want this birth to be about the doctor, and his/her schedule and convenience. I want it to be the major life experience it's meant to be.

There are many more reasons, but I don't want to write much more. I will add that I asked a doula at one point how I'll be able to cope with the challenge of labor given how much I hate my every day back pains and hate being sick etc. She said that it was a normal question and explained that they are completely different. I guess I interpret labor as being like an intense sweat lodge that leads you to heightened awareness both because of and despite physical pain, while the other little pains are just annoyances.

Maybe at another time I'll address alternative words for and views about pain.