A Sign?

One of my fun little idiosyncracies is that I love angel cards. These are little cards that have one simple word on them such as "simplicity," "faith," or "inspiration" written on them. You use them in whatever way works best for you. I guess I sort of use mine as a way of looking for synchronicity in my life. Usually by the end of the day if I look to see what I picked that morning, I can tie in my card with some event from my day and use it to build meaning. It's not like fortune-telling really, but every now and then I'll get some really amazing picks.

See, I also have other cards. First are my Devil Cards with things like "vanity," "depression," and "pride." I often can find that devilish trait within myself and either try to use it for the good or take the message from the angel card to counteract the devil-ness. I have several times received "dishonesty" from my devil cards at the same time as I pick "honesty" from angel pack etc.

I also have a Pasuk Pack which a friend of mine invented. From that I get one verse of tehillim (psalms). I haven't been able to USE those necessarily, but sometimes have had some funny experiences. For example, I once went to just the same kind of new agey story in Vancouver where I buy things like this and mostly had a good time. However, there was a bookshelf low to the ground and I wanted to kneel down to look at it the books there. But to do so, I would have to kneel down in front of this very idol-looking statue, and I wasn't willing to do that. That afternoon when I came home I happened to pick a card from the Pasuk Pack and got "They have eyes but they see not, they have ears but they hear not..."

Finally, I have a set of Arwen Cards which I made for a friend's birthday and have since given to other friends as presents. They contain advice for the day such as "Trust your intuition," and "Sing." There are some others that are particularly helpful to me, but I don't want to make this too much longer.

In any case, on weekdays I take a card from each of the four packs and arrange them in a certain way. Sometimes I keep them out throughout the week to see how my week has progressed. It's a nice tool for reflection.

But it's good to do things differently, more simply, on Shabbat. So after I light candles I just choose an angel card. The next morning, after I meditate, I take a second one. And I take a third card sometime during Shabbat afternoon.

Last night I got "trust." I didn't know what that was about. But today we had a lovely lunch up the street with some friends and everyone kept sort of saying ways I could induce the pregnancy or whatever. And I found myself thinking, "G-d, I trust you to make this baby come at the right time."

This morning I got "patience." I suppose this is about being patient waiting for the baby. Patient with the aches in my body. Patient as I learn, once again, to just take it easy. I'm now looking forward to a few more days of just lying around a bit and watching videos or getting little things done around the apartment without big expectations on myself.

After lunch we came home and I trekked up to our 5th floor apartment with Braxton-Hicks contractions all the way. With less than an hour left of Shabbos I took some deep breaths, hoping now that labor was not starting, and settling down to read a little. Suddenly I remembered I needed to take another card. What did I get?

"Birth."

That throws patience out the window a little. Maybe the baby will come tonight! I don't know if I need the patience because I'm waiting long again now or not. But I do have trust that if it's supposed to be tonight... even though I"m not finished with a couple of last minute things I want to do, well...

Like I said, trust.