Why this pressure?

Today is my last full Wednesday at work before I go on leave, regardless of what happens. (We have a half day off before Thanksgiving.)

I have only said I'd be gone from work for 6 weeks and am second-guessing myself on that now. Why 6 weeks? I guess that's standard these days, based on how much (how little) disability new mothers get. (I'll be receiving 60% of salary through disability and that's IT.) Why have I let myself agree to only being gone this time? I suppose because I've also made the concession of working part-time this year. But still, that's 5 hours of work at school, at least 30 minutes each day of transportation. It really comes out to a 6-hour day that our kid will be in daycare.

I just read a recent Babyfruit entry that made me revisit the subject yet again. (I only worry about it about three-fouths of constantly.) My midwife advises that I make the decision about two weeks after my baby is born of whether I can stick to the 6 weeks or should ask for more. Sometimes I worry about it for my own sake, sometimes for the baby's and sometimes because of the downright injustice of it all.

That latter category has, throughout my life, been my most inflamed as well as the one that causes me the most trouble ultimately, so I need to be careful.