Duality

Just a quick note...

I'm feeling conflicted this morning, good and bad in both hands.

I've had a wonderful week with a great first week of my summer job, the ecstatic experience of the ultrasound this week and another success that I'll share later on...

and at the same time, things in Israel are bad bad bad and it's scary as hell.

A number of months ago I was feeling so happy about my pregnancy and then U. had a really bad day. I remember I woke up in the middle of the night and went to meditate on whether or not it was really okay for me to be happy when things were not good for him too, and of course I also thought again about people who want to be mothers and can't right now. I tried to focus on how G-d has chesed and gevurah simultaneously... what feels like good in the right hand and bad in the left.

I guess that will be my meditation again this morning.