Summer Lifestyle

I've been reflecting on what summer time means for me as a teacher. It's a complete lifestyle change. Life slows down.

The hardest thing when I'm not working (and some summers I do work) is becoming used to unstructured time. Time changes completely, moves forward without the adrenaline that usually pushes me through a day from one task to the next. It feels lonely and silent sometimes. I often beat myself up for not being productive.

But now that I'm looking back at this first week of break, I really accomplished quite a lot, even with ND here all the time.

For one, I accomplished spending a lot of quality time with her. During the schoolyear I'm particularly grateful that I am off in the mornings, because then I can focus on her before the day's work kicks in. By evening I'm usually thinking about schoolwork I need to do, even if I know I can't do it until she's asleep. I still think during the day about the work I have or want to do, but part of the very reason I chose not to take a job this summer is to be with her and to not have to pay someone else to watch her. I'm trying to use that well. Besides, I don't think I could have gotten over the hump of returning to work if I hadn't known an end was in sight.

I'm also doing a lot of other things that I value in the areas of writing and some environmental activism that I'll talk about in another entry.

But also, I'm CLEANING. Don't underestimate this. Our living room and dining area look really nice right now and I'm able to maintain it. I even sweep the area every few days right now. This is not an easy thing for me. It may sound simple, but we often just don't have time to do it. I'm wondering if I can teach myself to clean up after myself more efficiently. But first I have to finish organizing my office, bedroom, closets and storage... all jobs that I need a summer to tackle.

Finally, everything is so much quieter. I don't know how to explain why. I go for walks. I'm in the car less. I'm alone a lot (except of course for ND.) So I hear the world around me. It makes me think of when monks take vows of silence. I can see how it would pay off. It's not that I'm not speaking, it's that I'm hearing more than I usually do.