Many thoughts about identity, Judaism, teaching, meditation, travel, parenting and more

Saturday, July 29, 2006

impressing the world

I'm not feeling great physically. Could be a cause, an effect, or unrelated to my recent crabbiness. Also very likely related to a week of runny noses at the backyard camp and a depleted immune system due to pregnancy. Just maybe.

Lately it's been getting harder and harder to get around physically. I'm at 22 weeks (I think) and my respiratory system just behaves differently. My body flat out said, "enough" early at the gym recently, and I don't get far on walks. My legs are tired and are a little sore much of the time too.

I'm not complaining about this. Easy enough to deal with and it forces me to relax a little.

But the only time I've ever felt anything like this was with my cancer treatment. I remember a few times then where in the days just after a chemo I might go for a walk and literally take 20 minutes to walk from one end of the block to the other and back... and I felt so proud I could do it at all!

When I was sick, everyone was in awe of me and I was on this weird sick-lady pedestal. Now I'm one of the few around this area who has never been pregnant. People have been very nice, asking often how I'm doing and reminding me to take it easy, but I'm nothing special right now.

The truth is, I find that a little hard. (Yes, I like people to be impressed by me.) It's hard work to be relatively insignificant. I'm learning how to be okay with it and remind myself then how much worth everybody has.

Honestly, I'm not learning very well right now. I'm tantruming a bit about it here and there, but at least I can be honest about those feelings on the blog. Do celebrities get upset when people stop recognizing them on the street (at last)?

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1 Comments:

Blogger Evenewra said...

Thank you. I just responded to your comment with an entire entry (see above).

But I will add here... there's no need to worry about whether or not I've been treating myself to the ice cream. :)

10:17 PM

 

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