Music
I had an interesting conversation today with someone. I used to play music with her and I commented that I was thinking about her and how I miss being able to find time to do it.
She told me that since her brother died earlier this year, she's chosen to avoid it. She says that music with him was about competition and perfection and she just doesn't want to hear it right now.
I found what she said quite beautiful as we talked. I thought about how when in mourning, it is traditional to avoid listening to music. For her it is not a religious choice, but an instinctive one of what she needs and doesn't need right now.
It made me think about an experience I had last week... I just returned from a trip with my parents and ND to visit my grandmother and two uncles and aunt in Wimberly, TX. I always bring my flute when we go, usually to play Schubert with my mom accompanying on the piano.
My mom was classically trained and I somewhat followed in her footsteps. So last year when my Uncle asked me to play Blue Moon to make a recording with him and my cousin, I was nervous. I'd never played by ear before and was worried about sounding bad. But I messed around and wrote down the notes I thought I'd need to remember as well as I could and we made a fun little recording while he and my cousin played guitar and maybe ukelele. I don't remember for sure.
This year I didn't worry at all. We all just got together to play music, one song after another -- ND playing a few notes on the piano we helped her choose for each piece, my mom on the other side of the piano, my uncle on guitar and aunt and grandmother on ukeleles. Not a thought about playing well. Just played. My aunt even said she wished I could be in one of their bands with them to have the sound of the flute as part of it.
How bonding music can be!