Many thoughts about the world, meditation, parenting, Judaism, pregnancy, teaching, cancer survivorship, moving from West Coast to East and more.

Saturday, January 28, 2012


I had an interesting conversation today with someone. I used to play music with her and I commented that I was thinking about her and how I miss being able to find time to do it.

She told me that since her brother died earlier this year, she's chosen to avoid it. She says that music with him was about competition and perfection and she just doesn't want to hear it right now.

I found what she said quite beautiful as we talked. I thought about how when in mourning, it is traditional to avoid listening to music. For her it is not a religious choice, but an instinctive one of what she needs and doesn't need right now.

It made me think about an experience I had last week... I just returned from a trip with my parents and ND to visit my grandmother and two uncles and aunt in Wimberly, TX. I always bring my flute when we go, usually to play Schubert with my mom accompanying on the piano.

My mom was classically trained and I somewhat followed in her footsteps. So last year when my Uncle asked me to play Blue Moon to make a recording with him and my cousin, I was nervous. I'd never played by ear before and was worried about sounding bad. But I messed around and wrote down the notes I thought I'd need to remember as well as I could and we made a fun little recording while he and my cousin played guitar and maybe ukelele. I don't remember for sure.

This year I didn't worry at all. We all just got together to play music, one song after another -- ND playing a few notes on the piano we helped her choose for each piece, my mom on the other side of the piano, my uncle on guitar and aunt and grandmother on ukeleles. Not a thought about playing well. Just played. My aunt even said she wished I could be in one of their bands with them to have the sound of the flute as part of it.

How bonding music can be!

No, I haven't been here much, have I?

Just a quick post to say that I am very aware of how little I've been blogging this year.

It's due to a combination of factors. For one, I'm trying to invest more of my writing time into pieces I can "publish" in a different way... ie. for money.

Two, I'm trying to be less busy.

But three, the most important topics in my life right now have to do with a lot of soul-searching and troubleshooting in a particular area of my life. I'm happy to say that my family is healthy and happy and loving all around and that I know everything will resolve positively, but the subjects I think about most often these days need to stay somewhat private.

That said, I'm going to write another post now to be published after I get some footage from my dad...

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Saturday, January 14, 2012

In Sync

So much for more meaningful posts lately... only room in my brain now for personal anecdotes...

When U. came to bed the other night I spoke in my sleep.

"Are you concerned about the x's by the names?" I asked.

"What x's?"

"I don't know," I replied, "but if you were in sync with my dream you would know."

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